Pay no mind to the idiot in the corner
A few weeks ago we went to the doctor. Nothing big, just a few questions that are not easily answered by Google.
Darn it.
Talk to the doctor about Jerome and his height... or lack of height. Is it genetics or diet? I can't do anything about genetics. I'm short, therefore my offspring are short. But his diet? If I have to sit on him and force feed him I will.
Nah. Doctor said he's a typical picky eater that will get better with time. In the meantime, try smoothies with tofu or yogurt and change it up a bit.
Talk to the doctor about Xavier's spots. He has white patches on his neck and chest/arms that are very white. I mean, whiter than we normally are white. And his birthmark? Yea. That's now developed black dots. What the hell? Google automatically says, melanoma. Uh huh. Of course. That's a good thing to do right?? Stupid me.
Doctor says she's going to refer us to a dermatologist.
Oh great. That'll take months to get in.
Turns out not so much. Took only a week and a half.
I was unable to go to that appointment. Shit.
The dermatologist decided that Xavier has vitiligo, may (or may not) be an auto-immune disease that causes your body to attack the melanin. Same thing Michael Jackson had and affects less than 2% of the worlds population. Say what?!? oh yea. As for the birthmark. That, they need to biopsy, because the doctor couldn't determine what exactly was happening. I'm sorry, what? You have to do what to my child?
So now. I do what most parents do. I freak out. I put it on my status and wait for people to comment to see if anyone else has had the same experience, can they help me, can they ease my fears?
Not for lack of trying, I have friends tell me their kids have vitiligo. No worries, they're all good. I have people praying for me. I read a blog entry about the same thing.
None of it worked. I'm still worried.
Less about the vitiligo and more about the biopsy and results to come.
Xavier is a fairly healthy boy. He had a rough go up until a few years ago, his tonsils kept swelling, he kept getting bronchitis, lots of asthma related things. Then for a while, it seemed to settle down and he's been pretty good.
I want to believe my own bullshit pretend positive attitude that it's nothing and everything will be fine.
I really want to believe that.
The stupid thing is, I can't, or won't, you decide. For some reason, the negative side weasels her way in and plants seeds of doubt and fear. Watching me Google things over and over to just get conflicting articles and nonsense. Google gibberish.
As far as anyone knows, it's nothing. He's fine. He'll get the biopsy and it'll turn out that my paranoia is unfounded and stupid... as it always is.
The lack of control in this situation has settled like a ball of disgust in my stomach. Turning and knotting and making it feel like I'm on a never ending roller coaster. Knowing that nothing I do, or don't do is going to affect the outcome of this stupid test. As badly as this makes me feel, how does Xavier feel?
He's fine. He knows exactly what's going to happen next week. He understands the cream numbs his skin. The needle numbs everything. They will take a knife and cut out part of the birthmark. He will then have a stitch or two and a band-aid.
God. I could take lessons from this kid.
I guess I worry enough for both of us in the end.
I don't live my life for my children, but I would do almost anything for them to live their life without worry.
Darn it.
Talk to the doctor about Jerome and his height... or lack of height. Is it genetics or diet? I can't do anything about genetics. I'm short, therefore my offspring are short. But his diet? If I have to sit on him and force feed him I will.
Nah. Doctor said he's a typical picky eater that will get better with time. In the meantime, try smoothies with tofu or yogurt and change it up a bit.
Talk to the doctor about Xavier's spots. He has white patches on his neck and chest/arms that are very white. I mean, whiter than we normally are white. And his birthmark? Yea. That's now developed black dots. What the hell? Google automatically says, melanoma. Uh huh. Of course. That's a good thing to do right?? Stupid me.
Doctor says she's going to refer us to a dermatologist.
Oh great. That'll take months to get in.
Turns out not so much. Took only a week and a half.
I was unable to go to that appointment. Shit.
The dermatologist decided that Xavier has vitiligo, may (or may not) be an auto-immune disease that causes your body to attack the melanin. Same thing Michael Jackson had and affects less than 2% of the worlds population. Say what?!? oh yea. As for the birthmark. That, they need to biopsy, because the doctor couldn't determine what exactly was happening. I'm sorry, what? You have to do what to my child?
So now. I do what most parents do. I freak out. I put it on my status and wait for people to comment to see if anyone else has had the same experience, can they help me, can they ease my fears?
Not for lack of trying, I have friends tell me their kids have vitiligo. No worries, they're all good. I have people praying for me. I read a blog entry about the same thing.
None of it worked. I'm still worried.
Less about the vitiligo and more about the biopsy and results to come.
Xavier is a fairly healthy boy. He had a rough go up until a few years ago, his tonsils kept swelling, he kept getting bronchitis, lots of asthma related things. Then for a while, it seemed to settle down and he's been pretty good.
I want to believe my own bullshit pretend positive attitude that it's nothing and everything will be fine.
I really want to believe that.
The stupid thing is, I can't, or won't, you decide. For some reason, the negative side weasels her way in and plants seeds of doubt and fear. Watching me Google things over and over to just get conflicting articles and nonsense. Google gibberish.
As far as anyone knows, it's nothing. He's fine. He'll get the biopsy and it'll turn out that my paranoia is unfounded and stupid... as it always is.
The lack of control in this situation has settled like a ball of disgust in my stomach. Turning and knotting and making it feel like I'm on a never ending roller coaster. Knowing that nothing I do, or don't do is going to affect the outcome of this stupid test. As badly as this makes me feel, how does Xavier feel?
He's fine. He knows exactly what's going to happen next week. He understands the cream numbs his skin. The needle numbs everything. They will take a knife and cut out part of the birthmark. He will then have a stitch or two and a band-aid.
God. I could take lessons from this kid.
I guess I worry enough for both of us in the end.
I don't live my life for my children, but I would do almost anything for them to live their life without worry.
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