A glimpse into my personal insanity

There is something to be said about people that care for your children. I always took for granted Xavier's caregivers... never again. I've been caring for Nolan for 8months. He was my first dayhome child, and he was definitely the drooliest! Today was his last day. I can honestly say that I didn't know what to expect. And I can defnitely say I didn't think I would cry. It's hard to put into words... taking somebody else's child into your home, day after day, and caring for them as if they were your own? That opens up your eyes, your mind and your heart. But it also makes you susceptible to heart break. It's not like giving up my own child or anything, it's just a little bit of my heart went with him and I find myself hoping that he's going to remember me... even just a little bit. I found this and thought I'd share. Forever In My Heart Although I'm not their mother, I care fr them each day. I cuddle, sing and read to them And watch them as th

Can you believe that? My husband has never seen Bambi before. I was in the kitchen when Xavier asked Sylvain to watch Bambi, and when he said yes I was surprised but not really. I mean, this is the same guy that let our son watch Star Wars before he was three. I sort of thought, wow, he's going to actually explain what happened to Bambi's mom and stuff? Huh, okay if he wants to. So I went to my weight watchers meeting and got back just as the movie had ended. I put Xavier to bed, came down and at supper and then started to watch TV wth Sylvain. He pauses it to tell me about their evening. Telling me that Xavier kept asking questions, what's going to happen? What about now? What's happening now? He finally told him, I don't know! I've never seen this movie before. This is when I sort of looked at him funny... wait... you mean you've NEVER seen it before?? No, well, I mean I've seen the part where he slips on the ice, because they do that little bit at Chr

Over the last decade I've done the opposite of what most people do, I'm not the only one, but it's the opposite of what 'normals' do. Hehehehe... I've kept those clothes, those oversize clothes, in the closet, drawers and cupboards. I've done the yo-yo for years and years. Up 10lbs, down 15lbs, up 20lbs, down 10lbs... So to make sure that I was always prepared Ikept the big clothes. You know. Just in case I gain that weight back again. I never kept the smaller clothes, I always got rid of those, not sure why... but I always managed to keep the big ones. It always seems like people are keeping the smaller clothing, because they're determined to get back into them. So today, I did what I've only dreamed. Well, okay, not really. But I did what I was UNABLE to do over the last 10 years. I went thru the closet, drawers and cupboards in my room. Took all those 'comfort' clothes, those item that were my just-in-case stash, and I got rid of them. Tha

Tonight my baby boy wanted to be a baby again. We were getting the boys ready for bed, just had a bath and goofing around on our bed. It was the same thing we've done for ages. Xavier was jumping around and doing some odd flips and he happened to get hurt a little. Nothing major, just twisted wrong somehow. Sylvain picked him up and hugged him and swayed back and forth with him. He finished getting him dressed, hugged him again and put him down on the floor. Well. That was when it all went downhill. Xavier started crying, and I mean crying, not screaming/whining/complaining, but an honest-to-goodness cry. He didn't want to be put down, he wanted to be picked up. I had Jerome and just told him to come to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He got on his stool, still crying, and looked in the mirror. He told us something we haven't heard before. "I want to be a baby." "But you'll always be our baby." "But... but not a REAL baby!" more sobbing, &