A glimpse into my personal insanity

I was doing just fine up until last week. Then I stopped eating breakfast. It seemed like I didn't have time, or by the time I remembered it was almost lunch. I was eating almost all my weight watchers points, but it was almost all junk. Woe is me. I was sabotaging myself again. :) I still lost one pound, but I would much rather lose the 2 1/2 - 3 lbs I was losing in the weeks before. So my short term goal this week? Get back to eating properly and eating my BREAKFAST!!! All my other thoughts were about an exercise goal, or some sort of tracking goal... this time, just get BACK on track is my goal. Whew. That and determining if my dayhome boys are going to work out with me or not. :( Seems like the older one is just too aggressive for his own good. He's constantly hitting, taking toys away, yelling at the other kids, throwing food and drinks, etc. I'm pretty sure he's partially pushing my buttons. But my fear is that this is all too much just him. It's his personali

Seems like I have will power after all. :) I was able to go out a few times this week and NOT get something from a fast food place. It might not seem like much to most people, but I'm not most people. I have a strange weakness for fast food. It's odd and I don't understand it all the time. But it's there and I was able to ignore it while I was out. I no longer visit the grocery store while hungry, I don't give in to any cravings unless it's for something healthy and I don't eat and eat and eat while at home. I do have the odd desire to eat a chocolate bar or something, but if I do have it, I have it and move on. It's not controlling me like it once did. It's nice. I hope that the rest of my journey is similar to this. Where I can control myself and my hunger. A lot of what I'm going through seems to be mental. It's all in my head and if I can get a hang on it, I'm set. I've got an ultimate goal for myself. 100lbs. :) That's right,

Over the last few days, I've been having weak moments. Mostly when I'm by myself. When Sylvain, or the boys are with me, I seem to be stronger. As soon as I'm by myself, I start have arguments with my own brain. Yikes. I know. I went to Toys 'R Us yesterday to pick up a few things, and I had a few other stops first. Get gas in the RAV and get something from AMA, no biggie right? Wrong. I filled the car, and headed over to AMA. I started telling myself how nice it would be to have an Iced Capp, it's such a warm day, why not have a little one... no, you can't, you'll ruin all your work. Okay, I won't, but what about getting something from McDonalds? No, you can't do that either, that's bad. Well, if I go to Tim's and JUST get the Iced Capp... and it went on and on like that. Sheesh. In the end, I made it to Toys 'R Us without stopping at any fast food joints. Once I got in there, I thought, whew, I'm okay now. No, not so much. I hovered

Well... like the title says, it's a new week. It's time for a new start and probably new worries, but hey, it's all about new. :D I've been getting more and more interest in my dayhome, that makes me feel good. I've even had somebody from Liverpool, United Kingdom, e-mail me about it. If THAT isn't odd, I don't know what is. They're coming over in September for a month long missionary work. And because of that they need a few hours of child care each day. I don't know if it's some sort of hoax or not, but I'm trying to believe in honest human nature and not something sinister. Nowadays, that's hard to do, but hey, everything isn't evil. Aside from that, I'm going to try and have a better outlook for this week. It's not something I'm used to. Optimism that is. I'm usually very pessimistic and unable to see the good in anything. But I'm trying to be hopeful and upbeat, that way losing weight will be easier. Mmmph...