A glimpse into my personal insanity

It's been a while since I made an entry. Tonight seemed like a good night. I'm tired, very tired, but I don't go to bed.... know why? Nightmares. Plain and simply terrifying, nightmares. The last three weeks or so I've been getting less and less sleep as a result of more and more vivid, scary images appearing in my head when I close my eyes. It's so very tiring and confusing at the same time. Once upon a time, a long time ago, I used to watch a lot of horror movies. I loved and still very much like them, not the gore, the honest to goodness scare you with music and acting movies. But I quit watching them for a few reasons. One, I had children and couldn't watch those movies without thinking of my kids. Two, I thought it would make my nightmares either stop or at least less frequent. Not so much. I'll save you the details. Let's just say these past few weeks involve my boys, my husband and not anything good. Theyre so real that I wake up and

It's been a week since I've bought a case of Coke Zero for the house. Just over a week actually. And it's been tough. Really tough. I didn't realize how addicted I was to it. And now that I haven't had it in the house, it's strange not to see the empty cans everywhere. I'm so used to cleaning up the next morning, anywhere from 6 to 10 empties. Pick them up from the living room, put them in the kitchen, and every other day or so put them out in the recycling. I haven't had to put a new bag in our recycling can in a week. It was supposed to be a New Year's resolution of mine, stop drinking diet cola. I never really stuck to it. Very difficult when you're the only one in the house trying to quit. Sylvain was still drinking it, and I started to sneak them. Well, no, not really sneak them. The only person I was trying to fool was myself. Thinking that if it didn't LOOK like I took any then it would be better. Sheesh. What a moron I can be some