A glimpse into my personal insanity

After tracking my 'triggers' for the past 3 or 4 days I've discovered two things. Well, actually, one thing I knew I just didn't realize how much, and the other was a bit of a revelation. 1) I yell. I yell a lot. This isn't exactly new. I was aware that I yell. I knew that I yelled a lot. It sucks and I don't like it. Hence The Orange Rhino challenge to the rescue!! 2) When I yell, the common denominator is me. What I mean by this is that when I yell it's always about me. The kids aren't listening to ME . The kids were bothering ME . And every time I yelled it seemed as though I was uncomfortable in some way, shape or form. I don't yell at my kids in public. At least not very much because I want others to think I'm a patient and loving mother. Which I know I am, as long as it's convenient for me... well, that's not right. Not right at all. It's not a HUGE blog today. But it's a powerful one for me. I was a little shock

So normally I read these blogs and then dismiss them as some weird new age way to raise your kids without having to WORK at it. But then I read it... I mean I READ it. I yell at my kids too much. I know I do. I yell for no reason. I yell for a reason. I yell for a good reason and sometimes a selfish reason. I have good boys. They are usually very well behaved. For the most part anyway. For their age (7 and almost 4) they're very respectful, polite, compassionate, have a certain amount of empathy, and are very sociable. What more could I ask for right? I ask for more all the time. Sometimes an unreasonable expectation that I know they cannot achieve, but I expect them to do it anyway. I read a line in this blog that rang very true with me. I realized that I don’t yell in the presence of others because I want them to believe I am a loving and patient mom. Oh geez. That's me. Actually that's a lot of mom's, but this is my epiphany, not theirs! I have people b

Wow. Nine years... NINE years... that's not a lot right? Let's put this in perspective, shall we? Nine years ago I was 23yrs old. My sister? Oh, well, she was 14 and my brother was 21. I had JUST graduated from SAIT, and started working at a company I would come to LOVE for the following six years. Oh and what else, that's almost a DECADE people... a freakin' DECADE!!! I've been with Sylvain for fourteen years. Oh yea baby, FOURTEEN years altogether. Want perspective? That's almost half my life. I've been with one man for almost half my life. Want to know what I've learned in nine years of marriage and fourteen years with the same man? I'm not perfect, but that's awesome. Let me explain this. Most women would go on and on about how much they've changed their man, and how much they've put up with, and blah blah blah BLAH! Me? No. I've done a lot more changing than I ever thought possible. When I was younger my mother to

So what do you do when you buy something fully aware that it might not work for you but you go thru it anyway? I got a little side tracked last week and the week before. The flood in Calgary has taken it's toll on everyone's personal lives. Everything has been put on hold for about a week and a half, and now it's clean up time! Finding ways to volunteer when you run a dayhome is difficult. The hours you're needed are the hours you work, and the hours you don't work there's not much to do for the rest of the day! But I digress. This blog is supposed to be about the miracle pill I bought a while back. Now, it's only been a few weeks and I haven't been able to exercise because of other commitments, but I should be getting back on track soon. I haven't lost any weight. I've been pretty good at sticking within my weight watchers points, and taking my two pills every day, and I've GAINED weight. I'm actually up... I don't know, I ha

I'm a mom. I have two lovely boys. I've had to put one of them in a dayhome, he was there for almost a year. Then daycare and after that preschool. The one thing I understand more than anything. Separation anxiety. I'm not really talking about the what the child goes through. But what the parent goes through. The guilt that you feel for leaving your child. The frustration you feel for not being able to stay home and take care of them yourself. The anger that comes from realizing that your child may call someone else "mommy/daddy" or do something better for another person than you! But... And there's always a but... When your child has some level of separation anxiety as well? You should put your feeling aside and help them deal with theirs. They feel what you feel, they can sense your emotions on a level that we as adults have lost touch with. This does NOT mean hang out at the front door of the dayhome for a half hour chatting about your weekend

I've decided that it's official. I'm no longer the person I once was. Yea. I know. That would've been the first thing that I realized when I had kids, right? Nah. I was too busy trying to NOT change that I didn't realize how much change comes naturally. I came home last night with the boys from picking up some stuff. Got them into bed, and went to sit down... oops, feed the dog... oh I should do the dishes... ah yes, the fish need to be fed... look the dog is restless, lets play outside for a bit... come back in... sheesh, I should really pick up these cans... I stopped. Oh my gosh. What the heck. I have some time to myself and instead of watching the PVR that has my shows recorded... Long Island Medium... or Untold Stories of the ER... or even Storage Wars... ok... that last one is a shameful secret... hehehe.. I was wandering around the house, picking up, tidying, putting away, taking care of things... When did this happen? I became... shudder... a grown

I've been part of the weight watchers community for about... oh... 3 years now? Something like that. And don't get me wrong. I love weight watchers. I've lost 50lbs doing it! It's amazing. BUT... and there's always a but... some are bigger than others... hehehe... I've hit a plateau. We all do. Right? Right. But mine has lasted for over a year now. I need something to kick my system back into gear. I've tried a few things. PGX. Chromium Pincolate and White Kidney Bean extract. Etc etc etc. Nothing seemed to really work that well. I've scoured the Internet for something to help me. Something legitimate. Something that has been tried and tested. That people have had success rates with. REAL results. Then I started reading about garcinia cambogia extract. And of course there's the American version and the Canadian version. There's one big difference. HCA or hydroxycitric acid. It's not in the Canadian version of this supplement. So I t

Good morning! How are you? Really? Oh, okay. Yes, I enjoy pretending I'm speaking with whomever reads this. Silly, right? No... I guess it could be construed as normal... you're so right! I should listen to you more often. hehehe... It's no secret that I'm a jogger. Nope, not a runner, a jogger. I don't run. I am a little faster than most people that just stroll, but definitely slower than people that walk quickly. Anyway! I signed up for a half marathon ! YAY! Crazy lady strikes again! Woo hoo! I've had a bit of an epiphany.... I dislike... nope... I HATE the treadmill. Can't stand it. I've been running on that stupid treadmill for 3 weeks now. I hate it. Worst thing for me. Probably going to avoid it at all costs. Why, you might be wondering? Why could she hate such a wonderful invention that prevents the fit and wanna-be-fit from having to run/jog/walk out in poor weather? What could be so horrible that she hates it with such a passion

What happens when a stay at home mom that runs a dayhome starts to do stand-up comedy? Her husband starts to wonder about her priorities. Funny? No? Yea. It wasn't last night either. That was the "discussion" topic last night. That "discussion" lead me to sleep downstairs. He complained that he doesn't get to go out. Not even stop at the grocery store for milk. Because he has to be home at a specific time all the time, or I get angry. Hm. Okay. Let's clarify. Before Christmas I was going to the gym for classes about 3x a week. And yes. He had to be home before 5:30 so I could get to said classes on time. Over the holidays, I decided a few things. That those classes weren't what I really NEEDED to lose weight. All this time at the gym is a good thing, except when it makes Sylvain come home early and deal with our kids at the end of the day (which is the worst time) so much by himself. So I spoke to him about starting to go back to what