Being married is a full time job
Wow. Nine years... NINE years... that's not a lot right? Let's put this in perspective, shall we?
Nine years ago I was 23yrs old. My sister? Oh, well, she was 14 and my brother was 21. I had JUST graduated from SAIT, and started working at a company I would come to LOVE for the following six years. Oh and what else, that's almost a DECADE people... a freakin' DECADE!!!
I've been with Sylvain for fourteen years. Oh yea baby, FOURTEEN years altogether. Want perspective? That's almost half my life. I've been with one man for almost half my life.
Want to know what I've learned in nine years of marriage and fourteen years with the same man?
I'm not perfect, but that's awesome.
Let me explain this.
Most women would go on and on about how much they've changed their man, and how much they've put up with, and blah blah blah BLAH!
Me? No. I've done a lot more changing than I ever thought possible.
When I was younger my mother told me to never get married and never have children. At that time she was in not such a good place, because now? She thinks Sylvain walks on freakin' water!! :D How time's have changed.
I thought marriage was my husband and I working, buy the house, buy the car, buy the dog, buy this buy that and then eventually have a kid.
What I didn't think? I didn't think that it was work. I didn't think we'd have to work so hard at being together. I was under the impression that once we were married things would just... work. Everything would fall into place and nothing would be farther from the truth.
My parents didn't have the perfect marriage. I have no idea where I got this daydream from. Movies maybe? Disney is very influential on young people, at least, so I've heard.
I think I digress though. Which I tend to do when I have to many voices telling me different things in my head.
A long time ago I was a very angry person. An angry red-head... NOOooo... say it ain't so! But the problem? I was happy being angry. I was sure this was the right way to be and this was me and everyone had to deal with it. Wow. What a bitch, eh? Yes. I was one of those people. I could hold a grudge for weeks. WEEKS AND WEEKS! Hell, I would forget why I was angry and I would still BE angry because I knew there was a reason somewhere.
I then met Sylvain. But I didn't change. I would threaten to leave him over... nothing really. Can you believe that? I would tell him I'm leaving and even now I can't remember why. I do know that one time I went home (back to mom and dad's house) because he pissed me off and insulted me so badly. I think he said something along the lines of, "You're acting like your mother.", I don't remember telling my mom what he said... hehehe...
About two years after being together I finally decided that we should talk. He told me that he wasn't exactly 'happy' with me most of the time because of my attitude. I found myself in the doctors office asking for help to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. And it turns out, I just have a bad temper and need to learn to control it.
Huh.
Ok, so...? What? Count to ten? meditate? Breath? That stuff? ya, right.
But I wanted to keep Sylvain, so I did.
I went back to school. We got our first home. Got a few dogs. He got a new job. We moved.
Then I got pregnant. We had our first son. It was a glorious time.
At least.
It should've been.
About nine months after Xavier was born, I started having thoughts of suicide. Not the first time, but the first time it scared me into going to the doctor. And that's when I went on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. Because not only was I depressed, I was also prone to the odd panic attack. FUN!
About a month or so after started my meds, things cleared up in my head. I started to realize how miserable I've made Sylvain, or at least, how miserable anybody else would've been had they NOT been Sylvain. That man stuck with me because he loved me. You want to know true love? He stuck with me from my worst to my best, in THAT order. He didn't know me at my best when we first met, I totally had him buffaloed. But, he saw something else, and decided to tough it out.
Thank god.
I don't think I know one single other person that could do what he did.
And the lessons of our marriage?
Nine years ago I was 23yrs old. My sister? Oh, well, she was 14 and my brother was 21. I had JUST graduated from SAIT, and started working at a company I would come to LOVE for the following six years. Oh and what else, that's almost a DECADE people... a freakin' DECADE!!!
I've been with Sylvain for fourteen years. Oh yea baby, FOURTEEN years altogether. Want perspective? That's almost half my life. I've been with one man for almost half my life.
Want to know what I've learned in nine years of marriage and fourteen years with the same man?
I'm not perfect, but that's awesome.
Let me explain this.
Most women would go on and on about how much they've changed their man, and how much they've put up with, and blah blah blah BLAH!
Me? No. I've done a lot more changing than I ever thought possible.
When I was younger my mother told me to never get married and never have children. At that time she was in not such a good place, because now? She thinks Sylvain walks on freakin' water!! :D How time's have changed.
I thought marriage was my husband and I working, buy the house, buy the car, buy the dog, buy this buy that and then eventually have a kid.
What I didn't think? I didn't think that it was work. I didn't think we'd have to work so hard at being together. I was under the impression that once we were married things would just... work. Everything would fall into place and nothing would be farther from the truth.
My parents didn't have the perfect marriage. I have no idea where I got this daydream from. Movies maybe? Disney is very influential on young people, at least, so I've heard.
I think I digress though. Which I tend to do when I have to many voices telling me different things in my head.
A long time ago I was a very angry person. An angry red-head... NOOooo... say it ain't so! But the problem? I was happy being angry. I was sure this was the right way to be and this was me and everyone had to deal with it. Wow. What a bitch, eh? Yes. I was one of those people. I could hold a grudge for weeks. WEEKS AND WEEKS! Hell, I would forget why I was angry and I would still BE angry because I knew there was a reason somewhere.
I then met Sylvain. But I didn't change. I would threaten to leave him over... nothing really. Can you believe that? I would tell him I'm leaving and even now I can't remember why. I do know that one time I went home (back to mom and dad's house) because he pissed me off and insulted me so badly. I think he said something along the lines of, "You're acting like your mother.", I don't remember telling my mom what he said... hehehe...
About two years after being together I finally decided that we should talk. He told me that he wasn't exactly 'happy' with me most of the time because of my attitude. I found myself in the doctors office asking for help to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. And it turns out, I just have a bad temper and need to learn to control it.
Huh.
Ok, so...? What? Count to ten? meditate? Breath? That stuff? ya, right.
But I wanted to keep Sylvain, so I did.
I went back to school. We got our first home. Got a few dogs. He got a new job. We moved.
Then I got pregnant. We had our first son. It was a glorious time.
At least.
It should've been.
About nine months after Xavier was born, I started having thoughts of suicide. Not the first time, but the first time it scared me into going to the doctor. And that's when I went on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. Because not only was I depressed, I was also prone to the odd panic attack. FUN!
About a month or so after started my meds, things cleared up in my head. I started to realize how miserable I've made Sylvain, or at least, how miserable anybody else would've been had they NOT been Sylvain. That man stuck with me because he loved me. You want to know true love? He stuck with me from my worst to my best, in THAT order. He didn't know me at my best when we first met, I totally had him buffaloed. But, he saw something else, and decided to tough it out.
Thank god.
I don't think I know one single other person that could do what he did.
And the lessons of our marriage?
- I am almost always wrong, but I'm okay with that.
- Saying I'm sorry doesn't mean I'm conceding.
- Going to bed angry sucks.
- Sleeping alone when he's on convention sucks but is pretty awesome too.
- If I bug him enough, eventually he'll get help.
- He almost NEVER tells me I'm right, but that's because of my stupid little "I'm right" dance.
- Fighting in front of the kids isn't always a bad thing, especially when they fight FOR me.
- If we argue, keep it on point or things get WAY out of control.
- Holding hands is fun.
- He is the BEST father any woman could ask for their kids.
- I could get anything I want, but I can't put him through that. "With great power comes great responsibility" hehehe
- Laughing at myself is better than hating myself.
- I don't like the way he drives.
- My in-laws are... amazing.
- I like that he checks out other women. Means he's not dead.
- We're better together than apart.
Comments
Post a Comment