Patience is a virtue I never thought I'd have.
Wow. It's been a LOOONG time since I've last blogged.
It feels like nothing has happened worth noting, but I guess a lot has happened.
I was extremely depressed this past month. It felt like I was at a stand-still or a stalemate and couldn't do anything about it. Made me anxious and angry all at once.
Last June I started with the Calgary Weight Loss Clinic. There were six classes I had to take, along with a few extra, and meetings with dietitians, nurses and psychologists I had to take. All so I could get on the bariatric surgery (weight loss surgery) list with AHS. It was such a process, it still is.
Amidst all the appointments I had a lull in meetings. There was a good 6 weeks before I had another meeting with the dietitian. During that time it seemed like every EXCEPT me was getting their surgery dates. I am part of three or four AMAZING groups on Facebook that connect me with others on the same journey as I am. A lot are in different stages and some are in the same spot I am in.
Reading all the posts of "I got my surgery date!" or "I met the surgeon" or even "I'm flying down to Mexico next month, wish me luck"... it just pointed out that I was not at that point. It made me feel as though I had been forgotten about or put on the back burner. NOT a good feeling.
I posted in the groups because posting on my personal page did two things. Got me unwanted and unsolicited pity, and a lot of criticism for taking "the easy way out". For one. I don't need or want the pity. I just want to talk to someone to hear out loud how silly I sound and get out of my funk. Seems stupid? It's what I need. Secondly, EASY way? Are you kidding me?
Does anyone have any idea the inner turmoil it takes for someone to come to the decision that they are unable to lose the weight on their own? The arguments and mental wrestling we do to come to terms with the fact that we need medical intervention as a tool to help us lose the weight? I was personally sick to my stomach going into my doctor to get the referral.
However, my disappointment and sadness was quelled yesterday by the dietitian!
I had an appointment with her to talk about the goals I had made back in March, set new ones and talk about anything else I was needing info about.
In looking about my food journal she suggested going through and doing the "traffic light" exercise. So, I highlight the green (most of the time) foods, yellow (some of the time) foods and red (rarely) foods. To help me figure out the good and bad days and get a better balance of nutrition. She also weighed me and I was down just over a kilogram in 5 weeks! I was shocked, thought I was maintaining not losing.
Then I asked about the next step and what I am waiting for now. She said that after our last meeting she had made a note that I was a good candidate for surgery, and reading some of the other team members notes (psychologist, etc) there won't be any negative discussion about my case. So I am waiting for my second case review (they will call or email me to come in), they onto the surgeon and decide what surgery is best for me, then onto his list and go from there. She thinks I am fairly close to the top of the list to get the second case review now.
I can't tell you how relieved I was in there and how much better I felt after that meeting. I am not forgotten about or have been put on the back burner. I'm in there, and there is no need for despair or anguish.
Honestly, I feel renewed and energized with the notion that with a bit more patience and faith I will get there.
It feels like nothing has happened worth noting, but I guess a lot has happened.
I was extremely depressed this past month. It felt like I was at a stand-still or a stalemate and couldn't do anything about it. Made me anxious and angry all at once.
Last June I started with the Calgary Weight Loss Clinic. There were six classes I had to take, along with a few extra, and meetings with dietitians, nurses and psychologists I had to take. All so I could get on the bariatric surgery (weight loss surgery) list with AHS. It was such a process, it still is.
Amidst all the appointments I had a lull in meetings. There was a good 6 weeks before I had another meeting with the dietitian. During that time it seemed like every EXCEPT me was getting their surgery dates. I am part of three or four AMAZING groups on Facebook that connect me with others on the same journey as I am. A lot are in different stages and some are in the same spot I am in.
Reading all the posts of "I got my surgery date!" or "I met the surgeon" or even "I'm flying down to Mexico next month, wish me luck"... it just pointed out that I was not at that point. It made me feel as though I had been forgotten about or put on the back burner. NOT a good feeling.
I posted in the groups because posting on my personal page did two things. Got me unwanted and unsolicited pity, and a lot of criticism for taking "the easy way out". For one. I don't need or want the pity. I just want to talk to someone to hear out loud how silly I sound and get out of my funk. Seems stupid? It's what I need. Secondly, EASY way? Are you kidding me?
Does anyone have any idea the inner turmoil it takes for someone to come to the decision that they are unable to lose the weight on their own? The arguments and mental wrestling we do to come to terms with the fact that we need medical intervention as a tool to help us lose the weight? I was personally sick to my stomach going into my doctor to get the referral.
However, my disappointment and sadness was quelled yesterday by the dietitian!
I had an appointment with her to talk about the goals I had made back in March, set new ones and talk about anything else I was needing info about.
In looking about my food journal she suggested going through and doing the "traffic light" exercise. So, I highlight the green (most of the time) foods, yellow (some of the time) foods and red (rarely) foods. To help me figure out the good and bad days and get a better balance of nutrition. She also weighed me and I was down just over a kilogram in 5 weeks! I was shocked, thought I was maintaining not losing.
Then I asked about the next step and what I am waiting for now. She said that after our last meeting she had made a note that I was a good candidate for surgery, and reading some of the other team members notes (psychologist, etc) there won't be any negative discussion about my case. So I am waiting for my second case review (they will call or email me to come in), they onto the surgeon and decide what surgery is best for me, then onto his list and go from there. She thinks I am fairly close to the top of the list to get the second case review now.
I can't tell you how relieved I was in there and how much better I felt after that meeting. I am not forgotten about or have been put on the back burner. I'm in there, and there is no need for despair or anguish.
Honestly, I feel renewed and energized with the notion that with a bit more patience and faith I will get there.
Glad you see some progress. Good luck!
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