Too Much Information? Perhaps.
Let's face it. I'm honest. Albeit a little TOO honest, but at least I don't lie to you about what's going on.
I procrastinate. I obsess. I control. I care. I share... everything. All that and more.
I've told many people about my weight loss surgery. Only because some of them would've found out anyway, so why not hear it from the horses mouth... so to speak. This way if they have questions they can ask, and I can see their reaction first hand.
There have been a few people that while they seem supportive are not REALLY supportive.... let me explain.
My friends.... the ones that care about me and not about comparing our bodies.... will say: how are you? how are you feeling?
My friends... the ones that care about me but are very curious about comparing our bodies... will say: how are you? how much have you lost so far?
Seem innocent? Yes. It does. Until you see their reaction.
I've lost 66lbs so far. Yes! 66lbs! Holy crap! When I mention how much I've lost, the reactions are a little... less than what I would expect.
Wow. Ok. SUBJECT CHANGE!!!
Don't get me wrong, a lot of the reactions are very positive. Full of love, support and encouragement. Those are what I focus on, or at least try to. It can be very difficult.
The things people don't realize:
The thing they couldn't realize. In the mirror, I still see me at 240lbs. I don't see me 60+lbs lighter. I don't see what everyone else sees. And if I look too closely I start to see things I don't like. Loose skin, flappy arms, round face, thinning hair, wrinkled hands, breasts that are no longer what they used to be... Still when people look at me in passing I think they see me when I was my heaviest.
I get cold very quickly and take forever to warm up, things I truly enjoyed eating before I can't stand now, I never feel hunger or thirst which scares me, vitamins/supplements are very hard to remember to take each and every day.
A lot of people are excited for me to get a new wardrobe. I hate it. Honestly, I'd rather shop for my kids. I used to know my size, I could go in and grab something and leave. Now I need to spend an hour or longer trying things on and I still won't find anything. Eating out is scary and pointless. Water is my nemesis for now.
All that being said. There are someodd wonderful things that have happened that I wouldn't give back for anything. I enjoy hot weather. WHAT?!? Never before. I enjoy doing the laundry, it's not as much work to go up and down the stairs as it was before! It feels like I'm always smiling, not that fake sarcastic, make-everyone-crack-up smile, but a real smile.
I'm happy. I have NO regrets.
However, I think starting now, I'll be keeping my surgery to myself and those who NEED to know. If people find out and ask me about it, fine, I'll talk to them about it, I won't hide it.
I procrastinate. I obsess. I control. I care. I share... everything. All that and more.
I've told many people about my weight loss surgery. Only because some of them would've found out anyway, so why not hear it from the horses mouth... so to speak. This way if they have questions they can ask, and I can see their reaction first hand.
There have been a few people that while they seem supportive are not REALLY supportive.... let me explain.
My friends.... the ones that care about me and not about comparing our bodies.... will say: how are you? how are you feeling?
My friends... the ones that care about me but are very curious about comparing our bodies... will say: how are you? how much have you lost so far?
Seem innocent? Yes. It does. Until you see their reaction.
I've lost 66lbs so far. Yes! 66lbs! Holy crap! When I mention how much I've lost, the reactions are a little... less than what I would expect.
One person gave me a wide eyed/mouth look and said, "Well geez, fine, just stand there and get all skinny while the rest of us are getting fatter."
She's a size 4... maybe a 6.
I sort of laughed and said, oh geez, you're not fat! You're gorgeous!
Eye roll and huffing.
A few people have told me that I shouldn't get too excited/comfortable with this new weight. It's inevitable that it'll come back on.
With the abscense of pain old habits creep back. So because my back/hips/knees/ankles don't hurt anymore I'll start eating shitty again and gain all my weight back.
However, they say, they mean it in the kindest way possible.
Uh huh. Ok. Well, have a good day, talk to you later.
Don't get me wrong, a lot of the reactions are very positive. Full of love, support and encouragement. Those are what I focus on, or at least try to. It can be very difficult.
The things people don't realize:
The thing they couldn't realize. In the mirror, I still see me at 240lbs. I don't see me 60+lbs lighter. I don't see what everyone else sees. And if I look too closely I start to see things I don't like. Loose skin, flappy arms, round face, thinning hair, wrinkled hands, breasts that are no longer what they used to be... Still when people look at me in passing I think they see me when I was my heaviest.
I get cold very quickly and take forever to warm up, things I truly enjoyed eating before I can't stand now, I never feel hunger or thirst which scares me, vitamins/supplements are very hard to remember to take each and every day.
A lot of people are excited for me to get a new wardrobe. I hate it. Honestly, I'd rather shop for my kids. I used to know my size, I could go in and grab something and leave. Now I need to spend an hour or longer trying things on and I still won't find anything. Eating out is scary and pointless. Water is my nemesis for now.
All that being said. There are some
I'm happy. I have NO regrets.
However, I think starting now, I'll be keeping my surgery to myself and those who NEED to know. If people find out and ask me about it, fine, I'll talk to them about it, I won't hide it.
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