If you can't say something nice....
It's been a little bit since my last post. I didn't think I had anything to write about. I guess I was wrong.
I go out to the dog park to walk my dog (duh) and enjoy walking and seeing all the fluffies. Make me quite happy to do so.
Yesterday the kids and I went and walked for an hour and a half. We did one loop, walk down to the river, walked back did another loop then went home. I was shocked at how long we had gone for! I wasn't out of breath, my feet/knees/hips didn't hurt, it was amazing!
I wish that's where it could end. Just there. It'd be better if it did.
But that's not where it ends. Unfortunately some jerk excuse of a human being decided to call out to me... "YOU SHOULDN'T BE WEARING THOSE SHORTS!!!"...
Devastation. Embarrassment. Humiliation.
If I could have crawled under the big rock in the field, I would have.
My boys didn't really hear it, luckily they were too engaged with a little brown fluffy dog that was giving them lots of love.
I kept going, pretending I didn't hear what I had heard. Inside I was dying.
We got home, boys were bathed and put to bed, I sat in the living room with hubby to chat about the day and figure out what we were going to do for Xavier's birthday supper tonight. When he suggested we watch a show, all I wanted to do was go to bed.
I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep. There was no reason to tell hubby what happened, he always has the same answer. Ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about. While that's true, it doesn't make the pain go away. Crying doesn't solve anything, but it is a way for me to release the frustration I feel. I don't always want hubby to try and solve my problems.
My brain says pay no attention to the ignorant people of the world that have opinions on everything whether you want to hear it or not. It's just not that easy, and I don't know if it'll ever be that easy.
Don't get me wrong. Physically, I feel awesome. My body aches so much less than before. I have a lot more stamina. So much is different than before and in such an amazing way. However, emotionally and mentally I still have to catch up. The mirror reflects what everyone else sees, but all I see are flaws and flub. I see me about 70lbs ago, I don't see the new me quite yet.
It's stupid random comments like that that reset all my hard work to see what everyone else does. Yes, it's something as simple as that. I know it shouldn't be, I should have tougher skin than that. But logic was never my strong point.
So now. I have to make a choice. Do I throw out those shorts and all the other shorts I've acquired for this summer because of what that one moron said? Or do I keep them, wear them and keep on pushing forward. Knowing that there are always idiots out there that will say stupid things to make themselves feel better or for a laugh.
I go out to the dog park to walk my dog (duh) and enjoy walking and seeing all the fluffies. Make me quite happy to do so.
Yesterday the kids and I went and walked for an hour and a half. We did one loop, walk down to the river, walked back did another loop then went home. I was shocked at how long we had gone for! I wasn't out of breath, my feet/knees/hips didn't hurt, it was amazing!
I wish that's where it could end. Just there. It'd be better if it did.
But that's not where it ends. Unfortunately some jerk excuse of a human being decided to call out to me... "YOU SHOULDN'T BE WEARING THOSE SHORTS!!!"...
Devastation. Embarrassment. Humiliation.
If I could have crawled under the big rock in the field, I would have.
My boys didn't really hear it, luckily they were too engaged with a little brown fluffy dog that was giving them lots of love.
I kept going, pretending I didn't hear what I had heard. Inside I was dying.
We got home, boys were bathed and put to bed, I sat in the living room with hubby to chat about the day and figure out what we were going to do for Xavier's birthday supper tonight. When he suggested we watch a show, all I wanted to do was go to bed.
I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep. There was no reason to tell hubby what happened, he always has the same answer. Ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about. While that's true, it doesn't make the pain go away. Crying doesn't solve anything, but it is a way for me to release the frustration I feel. I don't always want hubby to try and solve my problems.
My brain says pay no attention to the ignorant people of the world that have opinions on everything whether you want to hear it or not. It's just not that easy, and I don't know if it'll ever be that easy.
Don't get me wrong. Physically, I feel awesome. My body aches so much less than before. I have a lot more stamina. So much is different than before and in such an amazing way. However, emotionally and mentally I still have to catch up. The mirror reflects what everyone else sees, but all I see are flaws and flub. I see me about 70lbs ago, I don't see the new me quite yet.
It's stupid random comments like that that reset all my hard work to see what everyone else does. Yes, it's something as simple as that. I know it shouldn't be, I should have tougher skin than that. But logic was never my strong point.
So now. I have to make a choice. Do I throw out those shorts and all the other shorts I've acquired for this summer because of what that one moron said? Or do I keep them, wear them and keep on pushing forward. Knowing that there are always idiots out there that will say stupid things to make themselves feel better or for a laugh.
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