You want me to take... what?
So... as most of you that actually read my blog... I'm on anti-depressants / anti-anxiety meds and have been for a very long time now. This entry will be disorganized and babble off and on... sort of like most of my important thoughts! So bear with me...
Going on 8 years. EIGHT years I've been on the same thing, the same dose and it's been great. I still have mood swings now and then, but they go away... at least until recently.
When my oldest son was about 9mos young, I started having awful awful thoughts. At least, now I know they're awful thoughts. To me it was perfectly normal to wonder what would happen if I drove into that concrete barrier going 100km/h. I never wanted to hurt my son or my husband. I just didn't want to... BE anymore.
It was hard to admit then, a little less hard to admit now. I share my store with many because I want people to know they're not the only ones. I've had people open up to me about their own depression struggles and what that means to them. I encourage them to talk about it, to anyone they trust... start slow and go from there.
But I digress...
About a month or so ago, I ended up a little moody. I chalked it up to being "that time of the month" even thought with my IUD I don't get it technically. I just get the emotional part of it. Usually it's a wait 3 or 4 days and it goes away. No big deal, right? Well, this time, it didn't go away and it started to get worse.
My husband and children were suffering because of my irritability and moodiness. I had a flat out episode with my husband where I admitted to feeling that it would better if I just wasn't around anymore. At that point it was time to get a doctor appointment. It was relatively quick too, about a week and I was in.
While in that appointment we spoke about many things. Why it's very possible that the drug just isn't as effective anymore because my body is changing and it has either "gotten used to it" or needs something different. We opted to change meds because taking too much of the Cipralex and I didn't feel anything, that wasn't going to work with me. I need to feel everything, happy, sad, anger, pain, frustration... it's what makes us human.
So she suggested something based on a comment I made. I said that I had gained some weight back and I just have NO motivation to get it off or anything. I don't eat properly and that's largely to blame (yes, it's my fault, I admit that), I don't exercise because I just don't want to. Not that I can't, I don't want to. Those comments are what led her to suggest, Prozac also known as Fluoxetine.
What? Prozac? That's old school.
Most people have the same reaction you just did. WHAT?!? OMG... you're taking PROZAC?!? Well now you're gonna end up an addict and blah blah.
There are a LOT of potential side effects with Prozac. But there were with Cipralex too. It may or may not work and in the end I might have to try something else. The same with Cipralex.
The REASON she suggested Prozac? Because of the weight loss comment. Prozac has to be taken in the morning hours because it gives you a bit of extra energy - as I found out last night when I took the pill at 4pm, OOPS. Transferring from one to the other was not hard, 10mg of Cipralex to 10mg of Prozac, stop taking one and start the other. Adjust the dosage from there. As you would with ANY anti-depressant.
So. Why am I blogging about this? I want to be open with myself and to everyone about this... I've been open about my depression and anxiety thus far, this is no different. There is such an assumption with anti-depressants - any long term use medication really - but any medication that can affect your state of mind and being is under a lot of scrutiny by many MANY people. I've discovered that most people assume what they know to be fact and truth, when in actuality what they know is rumour and fear-mongering. Dr. Google. doesn't know everything and I tend to read a lot of material before making my own conclusions.
I was freaked right out at some of the things I read... someone had to be hospitalized to be weaned off because they were having thoughts of homicide towards younger siblings... depression symptoms got WORSE on the drug than off... sexual dysfunction (I mean, wow... some of the things... eek)... and then there was the "regular" side effects: nausea, dry mouth, low sex drive, vaginal dryness, insomnia, diarrhea, etc etc.
What I read was also GOOD too. Prozac has a very long half life (meaning if I forget one, I won't have a massive mood/panic attack), takes a long time to accumulate in your system (also a long time to get out), it helps with OCD, Bulimia, panic disorders, etc.
Anytime you go on any medication, they have to disclose the good, the bad and the ugly. Does this make me trust my doctor LESS? No. I've struggled with weight loss for a very long time. She didn't ONCE mention this, but now that my depression is hindering my weight loss (mental state is a HUGE factor), she now suggests it. Doesn't that tell you something? Maybe not all doctors are quacks? Perhaps some doctors listen to their patients and aren't so quick to get that prescription pad out.
Going on 8 years. EIGHT years I've been on the same thing, the same dose and it's been great. I still have mood swings now and then, but they go away... at least until recently.
When my oldest son was about 9mos young, I started having awful awful thoughts. At least, now I know they're awful thoughts. To me it was perfectly normal to wonder what would happen if I drove into that concrete barrier going 100km/h. I never wanted to hurt my son or my husband. I just didn't want to... BE anymore.
It was hard to admit then, a little less hard to admit now. I share my store with many because I want people to know they're not the only ones. I've had people open up to me about their own depression struggles and what that means to them. I encourage them to talk about it, to anyone they trust... start slow and go from there.
But I digress...
About a month or so ago, I ended up a little moody. I chalked it up to being "that time of the month" even thought with my IUD I don't get it technically. I just get the emotional part of it. Usually it's a wait 3 or 4 days and it goes away. No big deal, right? Well, this time, it didn't go away and it started to get worse.
My husband and children were suffering because of my irritability and moodiness. I had a flat out episode with my husband where I admitted to feeling that it would better if I just wasn't around anymore. At that point it was time to get a doctor appointment. It was relatively quick too, about a week and I was in.
While in that appointment we spoke about many things. Why it's very possible that the drug just isn't as effective anymore because my body is changing and it has either "gotten used to it" or needs something different. We opted to change meds because taking too much of the Cipralex and I didn't feel anything, that wasn't going to work with me. I need to feel everything, happy, sad, anger, pain, frustration... it's what makes us human.
So she suggested something based on a comment I made. I said that I had gained some weight back and I just have NO motivation to get it off or anything. I don't eat properly and that's largely to blame (yes, it's my fault, I admit that), I don't exercise because I just don't want to. Not that I can't, I don't want to. Those comments are what led her to suggest, Prozac also known as Fluoxetine.
What? Prozac? That's old school.
Most people have the same reaction you just did. WHAT?!? OMG... you're taking PROZAC?!? Well now you're gonna end up an addict and blah blah.
There are a LOT of potential side effects with Prozac. But there were with Cipralex too. It may or may not work and in the end I might have to try something else. The same with Cipralex.
The REASON she suggested Prozac? Because of the weight loss comment. Prozac has to be taken in the morning hours because it gives you a bit of extra energy - as I found out last night when I took the pill at 4pm, OOPS. Transferring from one to the other was not hard, 10mg of Cipralex to 10mg of Prozac, stop taking one and start the other. Adjust the dosage from there. As you would with ANY anti-depressant.So. Why am I blogging about this? I want to be open with myself and to everyone about this... I've been open about my depression and anxiety thus far, this is no different. There is such an assumption with anti-depressants - any long term use medication really - but any medication that can affect your state of mind and being is under a lot of scrutiny by many MANY people. I've discovered that most people assume what they know to be fact and truth, when in actuality what they know is rumour and fear-mongering. Dr. Google. doesn't know everything and I tend to read a lot of material before making my own conclusions.
I was freaked right out at some of the things I read... someone had to be hospitalized to be weaned off because they were having thoughts of homicide towards younger siblings... depression symptoms got WORSE on the drug than off... sexual dysfunction (I mean, wow... some of the things... eek)... and then there was the "regular" side effects: nausea, dry mouth, low sex drive, vaginal dryness, insomnia, diarrhea, etc etc.
What I read was also GOOD too. Prozac has a very long half life (meaning if I forget one, I won't have a massive mood/panic attack), takes a long time to accumulate in your system (also a long time to get out), it helps with OCD, Bulimia, panic disorders, etc.
Anytime you go on any medication, they have to disclose the good, the bad and the ugly. Does this make me trust my doctor LESS? No. I've struggled with weight loss for a very long time. She didn't ONCE mention this, but now that my depression is hindering my weight loss (mental state is a HUGE factor), she now suggests it. Doesn't that tell you something? Maybe not all doctors are quacks? Perhaps some doctors listen to their patients and aren't so quick to get that prescription pad out.
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