The "Easy" Way Out: Part Two

I did it! On December 30th, 2015 I was sleeved by a young doctor at the Peter Lougheed Centre, here in Calgary. He's young but is very knowledgeable about what he does. I was very at ease putting my future in his hands.

So this is Part 2 of a blog I started where I've been accused, openly, of having surgery as the easy way out. What a horrible thing to say, yet, I don't think the accuser really understood why their comment was so hurtful.

For over a decade I've struggled with my weight. Up, down, up, down.. success, fail, success, fail fail.... it's all there. The highest I ever was just after pregnancy was 284lbs. I managed to get down to 261lbs, and I stayed there for a very long time. A photo of myself made me want to change, very much so, I joined weight watchers! I lost 45lbs, it felt amazing. That feeling faded. After 2yrs of paying them weekly I was at my wits end. I lost all my 45lbs in the first 9mos with them, and spent the next year and a bit trying any suggestion they had to help get over my "plateau".

It didn't work. I started in the weight management clinic in Calgary in June 2014, I was back up to 245lbs at that point. I took the classes, met with the psychologist, the nurses, the dietitians, I read and researched. I managed to lose a few pounds but not much else. My biggest victory? I didn't gain weight! I was so beyond ecstatic for that. I maintained my 241lbs for over a year.

My goal entering the clinic was surgery, but the things you need to do to be prepared to have surgery. Oh my goodness. So much had to change. How I deal with emotions. How I celebrate. How, when, what and where I eat.

Some of the highlights of surgery? You get anywhere from 5-7 little incisions in your stomach where they do the surgery. Out of surgery? You get to stay in the hospital for a few days with a drain hanging from your side, socks that inflate/deflate while you're in bed. You are woken every 2-4hrs to take a blood thinner, anti-nauseant, pain med, anti biotic, etc.

When you get home from surgery? You need to make sure you have pain meds but don't take too much codeine or you'll get constipated. You have to ensure you drink enough water so you're not dehydrated. You need to take pills that reduce your stomach acid. You need to rest, but you need to walk around. Gas pain? Oh GOD. Kill me now. It's horrible horrible abdomen pain.

When the pain is gone and I've healed? I need to exercise every day, or at least 5-7 days a week for about 30min a day.

No more than a cup of food at a time. Eat slowly, I mean, take 20min to eat, chew each bite 25x.

You can no longer drink with your meals, you need to wait a half hour after drinking to eat and after eating to drink.

Like beer? Nope, not gonna work. Wine? Small, very small quantities. Nothing carbonated, ever again really.

Like pasta? Bread? Rice? Probably not going to be able to eat that ever again.

My hair will fall out, it will fall out a lot more if I don't get enough protein in.

I will suffer from vitamin deficiency if I don't take supplements for the rest of my life. Every three months there will be blood tests to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients.

Regardless of getting surgery, if I don't change my way of thinking I can lose a bunch of weight and then regain it all back again. I can't even imagine going through this just to fail at it. But it's not unheard of.

All of my clothes will need to be changed. All of them. Bras, underwear, pants, shorts, shirts, dresses, etc. Everything. Fun eh? No. Not really. It's not like I go from a size 22 to a size 14 in a week and can go buy a new set of clothes for the rest of my life. Oh no, I'll need things to wear between those sizes too. More money I'll need to spend on me and I don't like doing that.

My kids said it'll be weird having a "skinny" Maman. My husband said he's always liked my butt the way it is, but he'll get used to a boney one (hahaha).

I know people that have lost friends for this, I've not announced this to anyone other than close friends and family. Otherwise I'm worried about backlash and being shunned.

But. Please. Tell me again how this is the "easy" way out. I love how you can take a decade of my life and shove it aside like it never happened, just because I'm looking to surgery as my last hope of gaining control over my size.

This is where a sarcasm font would come in handy.

Wish me luck or don't. This is my decision, this is my choice for my life. I will do what I can to live longer for my kids, my husband and myself. You don't have to agree or accept it. You just need to know that it's done, and no amount of nay-saying you do will change it. I would love to have your encouragement on this journey I've undertaken, the more the merrier.