To frustration and beyond

Jérôme! Don't hit Maman's hand! ARGH!

... followed by lots of crying....

Oh for...

... sigh...



Recognize this? No? You obviously don't have an almost-two-year-old that refuses to eat. I don't mean he doesn't want to eat... I mean he flat out refuses to eat anything but a few items.

Crackers
Bread w/ margarine
cheese
strawberries (sometimes)
hotdogs
waffles/pancakes w/ syrup and whipped cream

That's it. He seriously won't eat anything else. Sometimes he'll eat some plain pasta or rice... but that's about it. It's so way beyond frustrating at this point. I don't know anymore. So, of course I do the logical thing.

I blame myself.

Last night I got so frustrated with Jérôme I actually smacked his hand when he went to shove the plate away. Then I flicked him on the forehead. Oh geez. I felt so bad. Sylvain came in from outside and told me he'd take over for a while.

I went into the backyard and sat on the steps and started to cry. I couldn't breathe. My chest hurt. And of course my eyes were leaking. I was so far past being frustrated that I couldn't think anymore. How could one little human put so much strain on my infinite amount of patience and love?? It's an amazing talent.

After I had a few minutes to compose myself, I went back inside and offered him a banana and then when he refused that... I let him out of his high chair. He went about his business and just sort of played and giggled at me... did some strange things to try and make me laugh...

My brain is on overload these days... this is just one more thing I DON'T need right now.

But...

He doesn't know that.

My train of thought is something like this.. Oh geez. He's not eating. He won't get the nutrients he needs. He won't have enough energy to do anything. God, I'm a bad mother. What am I doing wrong? Why won't he eat? It's not spicy, it's not overly flavourful. It's got pasta, he used to like pasta. Maybe if I add some salt? Wait, he shouldn't get used to that either. Oh geez. What am I going to do??? He has to eat SOMETHING! Just something! I mean, he can't survive off bread and margarine! What's happening?!? Why are things falling apart so friggin' much right now! EAT!! AARRGGH!!

HIS train of thought is something like this... Toy... milk... mmm... milk... oh, look bread... mmm... bread... ok, I'm full. Let me down. Maman, don't look at me like that. No, I don't want that, I'm full. I want to go play, I want to go play... lemme go play! I'm full! Fini Maman! Fini!

So what does this make me do? Go get the friggin' book I should've grabbed like 12 months ago... re-read the part where it says (over and over again) that all children are different, they eat what they will when they need to. All you can do is offer them a variety and take your cues from them. Don't force them or they'll reject it even more. They'll be fine.

Oh for cryin' out loud. I know this stuff.

Know what? I had to read it. I had to see it in writing. He's going to be fine. He's going to be fine...

Right?

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