I'm not sure if I'll ever grow up

Xavier?

Yes Maman?

Do you think I should cut my hair again?

You mean like a rockstar?

Yea.

Probably.

Why probably?

Because your hair makes you look like a maman.

?

What the heck is THAT supposed to mean? Oh well, that's what I get for asking advice from a 5year old. A pretty awesome 5 year old, but a 5 year old nonetheless.

I started to wonder earlier on the weekend if I'm every going to really feel like the grown up. Most of the time it feels like I'm just being the bossy older kid that gets pissy when she doesn't get her own way. You know, like it feels when you're not winning that stupid nintendo game against your younger brother. He always made me feel uncoordinated... no matter that I am, but that's another blog I think.

We were at the science centre on the weekend. Wicked awesome place, by the way. And I found myself not caring where my kids were, and getting upset when they were wrecking my tunnel system at one of the exhibits. And it dawned on me... I don't really feel like a grown up. I don't know what it's supposed to feel like, but I'm pretty sure I don't feel like one.

And I started to really wonder.

Is that so bad?

I mean, I pay the bills. I cook the food. I clean the house. I clean the boys. I take care of them, entertain them, educate them (sort of), etc etc.

But really? When it comes to play time? I'm pretty sure I'm more of a kid than they are! It's amazing what building blocks, tinker toys, pvc tubes, lego... all that building stuff... it's really wonderful how it can make you feel like a kid. And not just any kid. But that older kid. The big kid that all the other kids look up to. They idolize you, they follow you, they love that you're so awesome and can do all that stuff they can't.

And I think I like that more than being a grown up. I always wanted to be one of the cool kids. One of the 'in crowd'... oh come on... is it really THAT shocking?? I mean, yea, I love myself... NOW I do... but back when I was in school? Nah. I hated that I was so young and out of the cool kids loop. I hated that nobody wanted to be around me because I was so awesome.

But now? I have two boys and three dayhome kids that think I am totally frickin' amazing. They think I'm silly, funny, lovey, cuddly... but do they think I'm a grown up? Nope. Hell, my boy calls me a girl. Not a woman.

Am I going to cut my hair? Maybe.

Does my hair make me a rock star?

Only on the outside.

OW! Watch me now!

Comments

  1. LizDecember 1, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    Enjoy the feeling! Eventually you will HAVE to be the grownup, but until then, enjoy! That's what the early years of parenthood are all about.

    ReplyDelete

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