Feeling Stressed

Did you ever start something and it starts out great? Looks like things are going to go well and smooth? Have a few minor bumps? Then suddenly it seems like the heavens and all the powers in the universe are working against you? TRYING to get you to give up?

Oh yea. That's me now.

I'm feeling the stress of starting a dayhome. It feels like I'm been stretched beyond my skin's ability, it's not a good feeling. Then I feel the pain of my Dad. He's worried, he's stressed, he's not doing so well... what do I do there? I can only help so much and it's all emotional. I feel helpless.

What do you do when this happens? What do I do? I write. I paint. I cry by myself, when no-one else is around. I tell myself the most absurd things, it'll get better, when you hit bottom you can only go up, blah blah blah. I'm not sure if I actually believe myself, but it almost feels better to tell myself all these stupid cliches.

All that I can really do is hope. That seems to be what I do a lot of lately. Hope. I can't lose that. I might have to up my meds if I lose hope.

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