I love myself today

"...I love myself today,
Not like yesterday.
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh!
I love myself today,
Not like yesterday.
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look,
Your last look forever!..."

I can say that I'm starting to like myself. And it's the honest truth. For a long time I didn't. For a long time I don't think I could.


The thing about having a "sense of humour" you can make people see things that aren't there. They see confidence, self-esteem, out going personalities... but between you and me... it was a lie. For a very long time it was a lie. I would always tell people how much I didn't care about what others thought about me... you know... that song and dance that you always want to believe but don't really.


Somewhere deep down inside, I wanted to be accepted, seen as more than just a "good person", to be adored. It's hard to admit this out loud, so to speak, but I'm doing it. There is a new leaf that I'm trying my best to turn over, and it starts here.


I think that today I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, wow, that's me. And I smiled.

There is so much beauty in the world, so much good, and it's sometimes hard to see it in yourself. And yes it sounds cheesy and corny, but it's true. Everywhere I look I see something gorgeous, something worth everything to somebody... but I never saw something like that in myself. I wasn't sure I would ever like myself, that I COULD ever like myself. Sad and unfortunate, but true.

I ask you, do YOU love yourself? Do you like yourself even? And if not, WHY not? Have you figured that out? I thought it was because I was overweight, but I was "fat", but today I realized it was something more. To think that you're not worth anything is a harsh reality that a lot of people face. I know I thought I wasn't worth it, I don't know if I'll ever be able to say out loud why, there are so many reasons. Little factors that on their own don't mean much, but added up seem to make sense to me.

The point of this blog? To admit it "out loud". I am worth it. I can like myself. I can love myself and not feel guilty or stupid for it. And more importantly? Now I can be an even better role model. Another reason to smile.

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